Enabling Versus Empowering

A while back I was a presenter for an educational workshop and was quite surprised by how many people did not really understand the difference between enabling and empowering. This article will not only explain the difference but also give some examples of both.

Enabling Versus Empowering

Let’s begin with enabling; enabling is described as helping someone who can’t do it by themselves. At first, like many couples you feel you are being helpful, however, what really is happening is you are allowing the person, who you are enabling to become totally dependent on you to become a person with no worries. For example, a person who is suffering from being overweight; in this scenario, you may spare their feelings by telling them they look great while in reality they do not; or perhaps they have no job, yet you are providing for their needs, they in turn feel why should they get a job. Some people may say that you are only offering help, however, if you are helping someone who can do things on their own you become an enabler. Unfortunately, when you are the one who is being given all this enabling you become less appealing to most people and maybe called at times a loser.

Now let's look at empowering; empowering is defined as having total control of one’s life. This type of person has self-confidence and is not afraid of daily challenges. You are a motivating person that wants your surroundings to be positive and provide a healthy environment. Some examples of empowerment are your relationship: how you treat your partner and their emotions, understand their needs and respect their differences; another example is to create an atmosphere that brings out someone’s best and allows them to grow in making good decisions. Finally, when empowering, remember that feeling good comes from helping others and as a couple, the more empowerment between you both the more positivity will be in your relationship.

Good Luck !!