90 Day Fiancé has become incredibly popular since its release, providing viewers with many laughs and gaffs along the way, whether for the instability of the on-screen relationships or the hilarious characters that make the show what it is. Just look at a photo of Big Ed, and you’ll know the appeal of this show.
The basis of the show is simple: One American partners with one foreigner, who has applied for the K-1 visa. The K-1 visa stipulates the foreign partner may be brought to the U.S., but the couple has just 90 days to either plan their wedding or get married. The drama of the show is the on-screen couples either learn they’ve found true love or they’ve made a grave mistake.
Here’s a hint: It’s almost always the latter.
It makes for an incredible viewing experience, as you can sit in the comfort of your home and watch as this couple slowly plans their 90-day wedding—with every bit of drama along the way. If you’re engaged, it can make an even funnier show for you and your to-be-spouse, as you’ll be left looking at one another saying, “Thank God we’re not like that!”
Let’s just hope you don’t find yourselves emulating the tumultuous on-screen relationships. But there are some marriage tips you might learn along the way. By watching every episode, you and your to-be-spouse might learn some important lessons before sharing gold wedding rings.
1. A Toothbrush Doesn’t Make a Good Gift
Big Ed is a walking goof—Is he all neck? Does he have a neck? How can a man be that perpetually sweaty?—but, beyond his appearance, he sure makes some laughable decisions. One included giving Rose some lingerie so they could continue exploring their sexual relationship. But he didn’t stop there. Ed followed that up by giving Rose a “cute toothbrush” because her “breath is not, um, pretty.” Not a good look, man.
Ed screwed up the game by trying to offer two gifts of betterment, but they were both directed at helping him—the toothbrush cemented that. Lingerie can be a fun gift, as it’s something you can both enjoy: She’ll feel sexy in it while knowing you picked it out for her, and you can affirm her sexiness by showing pleasure while she wears it. A toothbrush, though, while telling her that her breath stinks? Bad move.
2. Offer Advice Kindly
Offering advice isn’t about telling someone they’re wrong and you know what’s best for them—cite Big Ed’s toothbrush gift above. Darcey also falls into this trap, both here and in many instances of the show. After her nearly two-decades-younger Dutch fiancé, Jesse, makes a steak dinner for Darcey and her daughters, Darcey steps in while trying to tell him how to properly cut a steak. An already fraught relationship explodes, leading to a verbal spat that becomes physical when Darcey throws a hell at Jesse and he flees the house, threatening to call the police on her.
What have we learned? Don’t be an ass when offering advice to someone, especially while in the kitchen. The “I’ve worked in restaurants” line will not go over well, as it comes across as if you are being critical and patronizing them. Find a smoother way to offer critical advice.
3. Make Sure Your Families Get Along
Chantel and Pedro had several spats between their families, one happening when her family invited her sister-in-law, Nicole, over for a family dinner. Yet, things go south quickly when their bad blood is brought up, leading to a fight erupting which nearly ruins the food—don’t worry! Chantel’s dad protects the food.
Lesson learned: Make sure your families get along before getting married. And if not? Well, do your best to de-escalate drama whenever possible. Don’t start a beef when none is needed—look at Chantel’s dad; it’s already there on the table and he’s dying to enjoy it.
4. Consider Each Other’s Needs
Anfisa sure was a keeper! She was nothing but a mentally stable adult who sincerely cared about Jorge and wanted to make sure he was as happy as could be, right? Wow. What a lovely bride-to-be! Is she still listening? Is she gone? Can I stop this charade?
Anfisa knew how to keep Jorge in line: By raising her voice to demonic levels in a matter of seconds. What a queen! She showed this, once again, by suddenly screaming at Jorge to get her “red bag WITH MY MAKEUP!”
Lesson learned? Consider each other’s needs. But, ladies, don’t be an Anfisa about it. There’s no need to scream. And, guys, tell them you’ll get it with a smile—and don’t forget it.
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