A Little Spit And Polish: Grooming Tips For Grooms

 

Look Bro. We know you are THE definition of style and rugged handsomeness. Hell, “science” has proven the mere act of regularly reading the Manly Bands Blog makes you 42% more attractive to other humans. Yes, “science” is the name our in-house word-monkey gave his bank account… Why do you ask?

Anyways, there is one thing we need to make certain you are aware of: Your Wedding Day look is going to require more than a “Pits & Bits” shower to pull off. This is going to be one of the biggest days of your life, and you need to look better than your best. And that means work, and a plan.

Fear not though, fearless bro. Like we always do, the Manly Bands blog is here to help. So, without further delay, here are our Top Tips For Wedding Day Grooming!

Tame Your Mane

Alright, so we already covered the need for a real, complete, serious booty-scrubbing shower. But, did you remember to wash your hair (assuming you have some to wash)? Whatever your usual routine consists of, that wad of hair atop your manly head needs to go through a bit more today. It needs to be clean, combed, and styled into something worthy of all those expensive pictures it will be immortalized in.

And please, for the love of beer and brats, please say you got a haircut very recently… You don’t need to be walking down the aisle with your mane looking longer and scragglier than normal. No, we aren’t saying you need your hair short and tight; many Manly Men walk this earth sporting long, testosterone-filled locks, and sport a very mean and manly Rockstar-esque ponytail. And that works, so long as it is properly groomed (and yes, possibly trimmed.) If you need some advice (or maybe, some equipment to handle the task,) might we recommend manscaped.com? They are a great resource for all your grooming needs, even those more applicable to the Honeymoon side of things..

… Whatever hairstyle you choose, just make it look extra good, bro. It is one of the first things your guests will notice!

Wrangle Your Face-Bush

Speaking of hair, what do we do about the manly face foliage so many of us have worked ages to cultivate? How big a fox-pause (did we spell that right?) would it be to walk to the altar/pagoda/replica TARDIS you will be wed at with a well groomed head of hair, and a beard that looks fresh out of the briar patch?

As we mentioned here, picking your wedding day facial hair requires some thought and practice to pull off properly. Start with making sure your beard (if there is one to speak of) is clean, and ready for grooming. Or, if facial hair isn’t your everyday style, then get to shaving dude, and take your time with it.

… The point is, your chin hair game needs to be, as the young kids say, “on fleek.” Think “Most Important Job Interview of Your Life” meets “Every Funeral/Awards Ceremony/Meeting With Your Spouse-To-Be’s Parents you have ever attended,” combined. Make it look good!

The Suit (Or Tux) Makes The Man

Whether you choose between rent or buy, tux or suit, you need to make sure everything is spot on with your outfit. It would be a waste to spend all this time washing and styling, just to put on a wrinkled, poor-fitting tux.

Make sure you were sized right by whoever put your outfit together, and that you try it on long before you head to the venue. Get one of your groomsmen to help you put everything on if you need to and have them make sure it all looks good and straight. Learn to use an iron just in case. Seriously.

… Remember, the pictures… You don’t want to look like a fashion challenged hobo in your wedding album!

The Devil Is In The Details

Last one, best one! We’re in the final stretch here homie, so stay on target. Time to hammer out the last-minute details:

• Do your fingernails look something like the gnarled talons of a fairytale witch? Then you probably want to opt for a manicure (yes, they are manly! They frickin’ have the word “Man” in the name. Suck it up and do it, buttercup!)

• What did you decide on the Tie debate? Bowtie, or Standard? Are you certain it is properly tied, and looks as awesome as the rest of you? If not, get one of your crew to help out!

• Suspenders? A bold choice indeed, and one worthy of a manly wedding. Just, make sure you get them right!

• How about boutonnieres? Cufflinks? Handkerchiefs? Are you planning on donning any of these classic accessories with your manly outfit? Make sure they are on straight, and look right! And don’t forget your watch, if you wear one!

• Oh, and don’t forget a dab of some special cologne, but not too much. Even if your wedding isn’t in the hottest months of the year, the stress of the next few hours will probably make you sweat a little, and ain’t nobody got time for groom-funk!

Yeah, it seems like a lot of work just to get dressed… but look at this way: A lot of brides spend hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars on their dress for their “Best Day Ever,” and even more on their hair and makeup. For some women, this is their “Princess Party” of a lifetime, and they intend to look the part. Your spouse-to-be deserves you looking just as sharp as they do, so put the work in.

… Because seriously, do you really want your Founder’s Line Ring from Manly Bands to outshine you on your wedding day? I mean, it still might, but you should still try.

See you next time on the Manly Bands Blog!