How to Argue

It is bound to happen, we all do it and we all have different outcomes, but in any type of relationship, arguments can happen. This article will address some do’s and don’ts that can help solve a conflict.

The first thing to realize is that in any relationship there has to be two people; two people with different perspectives and opinions. The desired outcome is for you both to feel good without anger or hurt feelings.

Let’s look first at what not to do; one piece of advice is not to make assumptions; making assumptions is tied to one’s feelings, which in turn can become an emotional rollercoaster that becomes untracked. It may cause tension, anxiety and fear. The next advice is to stay away from making it personal, try not to judge one another. Stay away from personal blame and bringing up the past. Keep it simple and use the word I, instead of you because this way you are sharing how you feel.

Lastly, avoid communicating with your partner when you are upset; when upset, sometimes things are said that can cause more problems and cloud the situation.

Now, let’s look at some of the positive ways to argue:

The first piece of advice is to show respect and be willing to listen; listening in an argument sometimes is sometimes overlooked. Some key listening skills are maintaining eye contact, quiet setting with no electronics and calming tone of voice. Soft background music and neutral setting will help you both engage more rational.

The next piece of advice is to stay positive, acknowledge there is a concern and try to resolve it with the hope of bringing you both closer. Staying positive during an argument can be difficult; however, by staying this way emotions are kept in check and feelings are not hurt.

Finally, the last piece of advice on how to argue is know when to take a time-out. When you find yourselves going around and around, it’s time to walk away for a while, give each other some time and space to re-think and reflect. Always try to remember that an argument has a purpose and that you both not only want resolution but also a result that makes you both happy.

Good Luck !!