Keep the Past in the Past.

This article is being written for a couple I have known for several years that just announced that they were ending their twenty-two years of marriage; the reason was because one of the partners brought up the past, which led to a very unfortunate ending.

Past, as defined by the “Cambridge English Dictionary” is described as “actions, events or states that happened or existed before the present time”. Pretty clear, yet some couples can’t or refuse to let the past be just that. This article will pave a path of what is needed to share about you or your partner’s past.

The first question you may wonder is should the past be discussed; tough question and touch answer. The answer depends on where you are in your relationship and will it make a difference between the two of you; while it’s important to share some moments of your past, there are some things from the past you should be able to keep to yourself.

There are three reasons why keeping the past in the past is important to your relationship, the first is jealousy;

Jealousy is a non-verbal threat that suggests lack of confidence, anxiety and insecurity. It is a common emotion, yet unhealthy because, first it may trigger old memories and second it plays a role of untrust and anger.

The second reason to leave the past in the past is how it may affect your security. All of a sudden the relationship you felt so comfortable sharing, could now be damaged; you become someone who is now unsure and compensate by protecting your relationship, thus making your relationship very difficult to maintain.

The third reason, for letting the past go, is if you tend to dwell on it, you may suffer from medical issues such as depression, apprehension and needless worry. Your health is very important and if you want to feel happy and satisfied you need to move forward and leave the past behind. Remember the past can’t be changed, however, the present and future can be.

Good Luck !!