Look, it’s one thing to go out on a date and be unsure about who picks up the bill. As a dude, you feel like you should. Fair enough — it’s polite. Maybe you want to respect your date’s independence and go Dutch. The bill comes, and you do the awkward sort of “I got it shuffle,” and eventually it gets sorted out.
Let’s pitch another scenario. You’re looking at wedding bands and unsure who picks up the bill. That’s just a whole different can of worms than dinner at the fancy chain Italian restaurant. Don’t want to look like a chump when it comes time to buy a ring? We’ve got you covered.
Traditionally?
So, traditionally, you buy each other’s wedding bands. Couples tend to split costs down the middle and you each foot the bill for the other’s half of the couple’s wedding bands you’re purchasing. Very romantic, very straightforward, no fuss.
Want to go this route? Awesome. It has plenty of perks. For one, it’s simple, and the rules of engagement (pun intended) are quite simple. You buy her wedding band, she buys yours, you shake hands and call it a day. There’s also just a certain classic romantic aesthetic to it that you can’t replicate by going any other route.
Are there downsides to the traditional route? Well, that really depends on your perspective. For most couples, there’s gonna be nothing wrong with just going for tried and true. If you’re a non-traditional couple, though, maybe it’s gonna feel a little bit contrived to go the traditional route. Maybe it’ll be a fun change of pace. Just give it some thought.
In the Modern Era, We’ve Seen Some Changes
Look, the traditional approach is still going to be the common one, though not the only one.
We’re even seeing more men wearing engagement rings now, so the landscape is definitely shifting. In fact, The Knot did a study in 2012 that came to the conclusion that 17 percent of men would be open to wearing an engagement ring. That number has certainly increased since then, so we’re seeing some interesting changes. Also, the survey calls them “man-gagement rings,” which is such a dumbass term. It’s just an engagement ring. Like, relax.
Who Else Might Buy the Bands?
Well, really anyone, we suppose. There’s a couple of major options, though.
Option 1: Just Buy Them Yourselves
This is really gonna depend on how financially independent you two are from each other. It’s an increasingly popular option, though. It combines the simplicity of the traditional version with some of the more modern elements we’re seeing among wedding trends. Is it as romantic? Eh. Frankly, no. That being said, if that doesn’t bother you, then by all means go purchase your own. This is a function over fashion option, but some couples do find it really works for them.
Option 2: Let the Families Get the Bill
This isn’t exactly new, but it is a second option. In the past, some families would buy the wedding bands. Oftentimes, the bride’s family would buy the groom’s band and vice versa. Of course, your family could buy your own instead. One family could buy both while the other family pays for some wedding expenses. There’s a lot of leeway to this one, so get as creative as you like.
Option 3: Get a Ring Tattoo?
It’s an option that some people like. We’re partial to the ring, but we’ve also got a vested interest in it. If you like the idea of never losing your ring, it’s certainly an option out there.
What to Consider Before Buying a Ring
Cost
We’re gonna throw a shocker out there: wedding bands can get crazy expensive. New information, we know. Look, yes, it’s a lifelong commitment, and you want it to look good and all that. We get it. That’s a reasonable thing. Let’s throw out a quick counteroffer: you can find men’s wedding rings that you love, in all sorts of manly styles, from Manly Bands at a fraction of the price of other jewelers. Just a thought.
Lifestyle
Whether you work in the trades or behind a desk, you want a ring that’s going to keep up with your work, hobbies and overall life. For some, that’s just gonna be a classic gold wedding band because if it ain’t broke, ya know. For others, maybe an ultra-durable tungsten band to resist scratches. And for some others, just a silicone wedding band that keeps up with their active lifestyle.
The point is, before you dive into other considerations (besides defining your price range, obviously), take a hard look at your lifestyle and figure out what materials will or won’t work for you.
Aesthetic
Hey, it’s a really important aspect. Not only do you want a ring that looks awesome, but you also want it to look awesome on you. Take into account which colors complement your skin tone, what size ring is going to make sense with your hand size and just which ring you think looks good.
Dudes have an issue with this one sometimes. It wasn’t that long ago that dudes had the choice of silver or gold, and that was pretty much it. Now, there’s nothing wrong with the classics, and sometimes you just want to play the hits. However, guys have a significantly wider range of options now than they used to, so don’t be afraid to try things out!
While you’re at it, make sure you understand the basics of what band is going to look good on you. There’s less to it than you think. We promise.
For example, if you’ve got some absolute baseball mitts attached to the end of your wrists, don’t go for a thin band. It’s going to look comical. Like, Rob Gronkowski playing with tiny kittens comical. In fairness, that was a hilarious photoshoot, and you (probably) aren’t Rob Gronkowski.
Alternatively, if you’ve got hands that look like they shrunk in the dryer, don’t try to grab a Superbowl-sized wedding ring. Really going back to the football well, but so be it. You’re going to look like a kid wearing his dad’s suit. All things in balance, and your ring will look great. Always feel free to ask for a second opinion if you aren’t sure.
Ethics
Unless you’re like some comic book-level evil supervillain, you don’t want a blood diamond. No one wants that. That’s pretty simple. With lab-grown and simulated ring options out there, you don’t have to compromise your morals for a wedding ring.
There are other ethical concerns for some people, with sustainability coming to the forefront of wedding trends in recent years. If you’re looking to minimize your carbon footprint, you can look out for rings made of sustainable materials using sustainable practices.
How to Buy a Ring
Take Your Time
This is a big decision — no matter how much money you spend on your ring — so don’t rush it. We get it — you found the one and you want to be married like yesterday. That’s admirable, and we applaud you. However, it’s not admirable nor applause-worthy to go into debt to buy a ring you don’t end up loving. It’s not really admirable to go into debt to buy a ring at all, but so be it.
Make sure you look at all your options and try on some rings. Double-check that you know your ring size. If you’re just going off what size shoe you wear, you don’t know your ring size. That works sometimes, but it’s just not a real rule.
Communicate Openly
Unless you’re the one footing the bill for both rings, make sure you’re constantly communicating throughout the ring-buying process. Honestly, even if you are buying both rings, it’s at least healthy and polite to vocalize your thoughts during the process. The ring-buying process can be stressful for couples, so there’s no need to add to that via poor communication. That’s really just a good life lesson, and we gave it to you for free. You’re welcome.
Don’t Overspend
Don’t do it. We get it – you’re in love and no amount of money is too much to spend. Let’s reel that nonsense back in, Romeo. You’re in love and there is absolutely an amount of money that is too much to spend. Just what that amount is will depend on your financial state, obviously, but there’s still a dollar amount that is a no-go.
No one wants to start a marriage with debt, though tons of couples do. Just don’t be one of them.
The ring-buying process is very personal and, in some ways, intimate. What works for one couple may not work for another, and that’s perfectly fine. Take your time, shop around and when you find the right one, we’ll be here to make sure you get it.
Image Credits
Veranika Dzik/Shutterstock.com
