Know Their Role: Best Man vs. Groomsmen Roles, Part 2


5 minute read

OK. So last time, I may have rambled, and failed to get to one of the most vital of groomsmen duties: planning the bachelor party. I know bro, I really dropped the ball on this one, and I promise, I will make it up to you. It's just, there are so many tasks that come up when you are planning your wedding, and so many times for your manly crew to shine, I just lost track of my word count.

Trust me, there are still duties we haven't covered, and I'd feel like a real heel if I didn't touch on as many as possible. Your crew has work ahead of them, and we need to make sure the load is spread evenly among your broskis before we get down and dirty.

Dirty... That reminds me of a fairly lame segue to another groomsmen task you might not have thought about.

Coming Clean: Cleaning The Wedding Venue

So let's preface this one by saying the following: If you have the means to book a venue that supplies staff to tend to you and yours, it is highly recommended. Having a crew of people to serve your food, your booze and, most importantly, to clean it all up afterward is priceless -- unless you are working with a leaner budget and are following some of our cost-cutting tips found here. Then, said price is more of a price than priceless, if you get my drift.

The point is, one thing you will notice we didn't cover in those posts was the aftermath. If you went with a staff-less venue, then someone is going to have to roll up their sleeves, (hopefully the next morning... get that point clarified before you sign any contract bro!), to put the venue back to the way it was before you and yours ever showed up. Considering you and yours are the ones who set everything up the way you wanted it to begin with, it shouldn't be too complicated, but that isn't the same as it being easy.

Odds are that your spouse-to-be and their #1 wedding party member told the rest of their side of the group on how to set the decorations, and directed at least a few of your guys on where to put the tables and chairs. If the necessary manpower is limited, have your guys draw straws: Half work the setup, the other half handle the cleanup. Hauling trash, putting up tables and chairs, sweep (and mop, if you invited filthy savages) -- it all has to get done, and your boys might all have to chip in. Keep it even, spoil them with gifts (more about those in a later post) and thank them for their hard work. It takes a special man to suit up in "cleaning clothes" not long after sporting a tux.

Speaking of which...

The Quest for Vests: Selecting the Wedding Day Wardrobe

Do me a favor, dear bro-tosaurus: DO NOT GO TUX SHOPPING ALONE! Seriously. Don't. As we discussed in one of those previously linked posts, tux shopping has waaaay too many moving parts, and you need a bro by your side to keep it smooth sailing. And as he always does, your best man has the best understanding of you (and your spouse-to-be) to help you make your selection. Make an appointment you can both attend and ask his advice on what fits you and your wedding's style best. If you are working with that limited budget we mentioned, he is the "best man" to be able to keep you on track.

Sure, you can bring the other groomsmen along if you want, but always defer to your #1 when questions arise. Or just plan for a second fitting (for everyone else who's local) and walk the rest of your crew through what you and your #1 have selected. Sound good? Good, because we have one more job to discuss.

Party on Bro: Who Plans The Bachelor Party?

We are finally here. The biggest, most important, craziest memory-creating task your groomsmen can create for you. And I'm about to bring you back down to earth bro. Hard.

You don't need your bachelor party to be so epic, it kills your actual wedding. And as our blogging skills here have grown, so should your understanding of what an epic, yet still appropriate, bachelor party should consist of. So instead of putting this one off on your crew, begin with putting it on YOU.

YOU know what you like. YOU know what would be "crossing the line" to your spouse-to-be. YOU know which of your groomsmen understands which parts the best.

If your best man is nothing less than a carbon-copy of you (and even better, already married), he can take the reigns on this one. But if he's the hard-partying single bro who never misses a chance to hit up the local strip clu -- er, MALL -- maybe, just maybe, make this one a group effort.

Ask for one bro to be DD (as the rest of you will likely be FUBAR). Have one keep the schedule (if there are reservations involved.) And one needs to make sure you are all able to look yourselves in the mirror the next morning. Is that your best man? Another groomsman? You yourself? Put the right man on each job, and keep the rest out of that particular kitchen.

Then, spoil your boys with some awesome bottle openers! Manly gifts aren't just the typical Groomsmen gifts! (We really need to get that post together. Check back soon!)

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