Whether you love someone in the military or you are that someone in the military, you’re likely aware that an armed services marriage comes with its challenges and benefits. If you’re ready to take the plunge anyway, we have some tips on how to pull off that perfect proposal. There are plenty of similarities between a military proposal and a civilian one, but if you’re looking to incorporate the military aspect of your lives together in that proposal, here are some ideas for doing just that!
Benefits You Need to Know
You already know that being in a military marriage is hard. You may spend months away from each other and worry about the other the whole time. Big downer for sure. Did you know, though, that you also get some cool stuff from it? Sure, you aren’t getting married for the continuing education benefits (you’re not, right? Right?), but there are a handful of perks for your troubles.
Healthcare
Hey, if you live in the U.S., a good healthcare plan is worth its weight in gold. We aren’t saying we’d marry someone for a top-tier health care plan alone, but…we’re not not saying that.
If you’re a military spouse, it’s very likely you’ll be able to participate in your spouse’s healthcare plan at little to no cost to you. That alone might be worth the price of admission.
Education and Career
You don’t have to enlist to get your college paid for. If you’re marrying into the military, your spouse may be able to transfer some or all of their GI Bill benefits to you. This also applies to children you may have up until they turn 26. Student debt who?
Tax Help
You don’t have to fear April 15 anymore. Your tax time may be a bit tricky, especially if you’re married to someone on active duty. If you’re traveling around (especially internationally), taxes can be an absolute pain in the ass (and the bank account). If you’re a military spouse, you’re entitled to free one-on-one tax help with military tax experts as well as the use of a military-specific tax software to make the whole thing a little less terrifying when April rolls around — and you still haven’t done your taxes (but that’s not you, right? Right?).
Commissary and PX
If you aren’t in the Army, that PX might be a BX or NEX, but the point is it’s a place to shop tax-free. Think of it sort of like that duty-free shop at the airport, but you can buy things that aren’t alcohol and surprisingly expensive beauty products. Want new shoes but don’t want to fork over an extra 10 percent for taxes? Buy them at an on-base store. Problem solved.
The commissary might be a term you’re more familiar with as a civilian. If you aren’t familiar, the commissary is akin to a grocery store where you can shop for all your essentials. Again, you get to enjoy tax-free prices.
What to Expect When You’re Expecting (to Marry into the Military)
Look, we don’t have to tell you it’s gonna be hard. In fact, the shit is gonna suck sometimes. There will 100 percent be times when you have to dig deep and remind yourself why you started. While there are plenty of benefits (aside from marrying the love of your life or whatever), it’s not all sunshine and puppies (in fact, puppies aren’t provided).
It’s not easy, and you may be apart for months at a time. You’ll get better at it, but it’s always going to take some work. All marriage is hard work, but armed services marriages dial that up to 11. Make sure you know what you’re in for, and you’re ready for it. Deployments are difficult, but they’re a part of life now.
As with all marriages, you want to prioritize the relationship above all else. No marriage is easy, but you have to be extra focused on being happy instead of being right. You don’t have the luxury of always being together whenever you want, so you have to be intentional when you do have the time together. Open communication is always essential, but even more so here.
Make Sure You Love the Ring
If you’ve always dreamed of picking out the perfect classic men’s wedding band, then hey, you’re good to go. If you aren’t satisfied with the options you see out there, though, all hope is not lost. Personalization is only getting more popular in the wedding and proposal worlds, so why not lean into it? If your partner is a history buff - or just wants to show his support for the U.S. Military - check out our collection of Military Heritage wedding bands that are created using genuine Sherman tank material and M1 Garand Rifle Stock from WWII. If you don’t see anything you love, order custom wedding rings. You’ll get exactly what you want and have a lifelong reminder of what makes you unique as a couple.
Proposal Ideas
All right, the moment you’ve been waiting for. Look, as with all proposals, you want to take into account your partner and their needs and wants. You know them better than anyone else, and you should really only use this list as a reference point. If you see one you absolutely love, then hey, awesome. Happy to help. That being said, make it special and unique, as all proposals should be, and you’ll be just fine.
You’ll see some unique tips here that relate specifically to the military, but some of them may look familiar. It’s not like military personnel are aliens. Sure, you have some extra events and opportunities for proposals, but the baseline of personalization and romance still remains.
As Soon as They Get Home
If you want to put the “home” in “homecoming” ASAP, then here are some ideas to get the ball rolling.
Right Off the Plane
There’s just something romantic about airports. Yes, there are also plenty of entirely unromantic things about them, too, but we’re ignoring those here.
Few things are more classic and awe-inducing than an airport proposal. If your fiancé-to-be is coming in by bus or some other mode of transport, the concept remains the same. Show up at their gate/stop/terminal/what have you, drop down on one knee, and profess your love. Now, if this is at the international terminal coming off a 10-hour flight, maybe take it slow. They might be a bit groggy.
If you’re the one getting off at the gate, why not just pop down on one knee after you get off the jet bridge (make sure people have enough room to pass by, of course). Will doing this make you a nervous wreck for your entire flight? Almost certainly. Will it also get you on one of those military proposal compilations that make people cry? Also almost certainly.
Wait at Home
Whether you want to bring the whole family around and make banners or just have an intimate moment with you two is your call. This one works no matter how you choose to go about it. Coming home is the classic scene in all those military homecoming videos you’ve likely seen, so why not put your own spin on it?
If you really want to do it big, cook an elaborate meal (or hire a personal chef for the evening) and do it all by candlelight. Très romantique.
Go Directly Somewhere
Straight from the airport to your first date place, maybe? Direct from the bus depot to a restaurant? Wherever you end up, make it a place of significance. If you (or your fiancé) don’t mind proposing/being proposed to in uniform, this is a great choice that adds a little character to the proposal. Maybe give them a few minutes to freshen up first if it’s been a long flight.
Before They Leave
Beat the deployment to the punch. If you or your fiancé-to-be are about to deploy, why wait? Sure, there are benefits to waiting, and it might be tough to start your engagement off alone. However, if you just can’t wait until the deployment is over, then don’t. Simple as that. Whatever you do, make sure you do it before they leave. Time is of the essence here more than anything else.
At a Visit
This one requires some skillful convincing. If your partner is already coming to visit, then problem solved. If not, you’ll have to get them to visit without it seeming like a proposal is coming. On the other hand, if you aren’t worried about the element of surprise, then this isn’t an issue either. If you don’t want to wait but are still on active duty (assuming your fiancé-to-be can visit you where you are, of course), this could be a perfect middle ground.
Make It a Surprise
Whether you’re stateside and can finagle your way into a bit of leave or purposefully misdirect your partner and show up unannounced is up to you. However, the surprise is the spice of all military proposal videos. Military dog homecoming videos, too, for that matter. Those also make us cry. You can definitely use the element of surprise in conjunction with any proposal idea here, but showing up unannounced always wins in our hearts.
After They’ve Been Home
Maybe you want your partner to have an hour (or a weekend) to relax and feel like a human again after the flight/bus/train they came in on. Not unreasonable. Sure, it’s not strictly homecoming at that point, but it really feels like we’re splitting hairs here. Plus, you have some extra leeway to use events and creativity if you go this route.
Gala
Any fancy military function will do. Marine Corps birthday, officers’ ball, whatever you like. Make sure you look and act the part and you’ll be in for a raucously received proposal. Employ a friend who will be there to record the moment. Just make sure you aren’t doing it during someone’s speech.
There’s an added bonus here: Y’all will both look good as f*ck. Seriously, have you seen what people look like at these events? Dressed to the nines is an understatement.
Sports Events
This one was actually inspired by a specific proposal we saw. In that one, a West Point cadet proposes to his girlfriend after the Army-Navy soccer game. Loved it. Super cute. Point being, any large event like this one will work (even if your girlfriend isn’t on the soccer team), but there’s just something about sports that lends itself to proposals. If your partner has a favorite sport (or one of you happens to be playing in the game you attend), this is a slam dunk (ha).
Holidays
Holiday proposals always make our list of tear-jerkers. Whether it’s your first Christmas together since deployment or one of you is just back temporarily for a holiday, this is a perfect proposal opportunity. You could definitely go for the Fourth of July fireworks proposal here. Makes plenty of sense and will get the crowd excited (if that’s your jam). Maybe just a simple walk after Thanksgiving dinner with the family.
Whatever route you go with, holidays are a great time to get the whole family involved with the proposal or at least have them be present for it.
Anything in Your Dress Blues
Or whites if it’s the summer. If you’re proposing to someone in the military, it’s gonna be tough to casually ask them to put on their dress uniform for “no reason.” Best to just use this one if you’re the military half of the relationship.
There’s something that’s just so clean about seeing someone on one knee in a dress uniform. Yes, the use of clean is ironic, considering you’ll now need to wash and iron your dress blues, but you get the point. The dress uniform proposal doesn’t have to be reserved for a military ball and makes for an absolutely priceless photo op.
We said it earlier, but it merits saying again. Your proposal should be special and unique to you two. You don’t want to go with a cookie-cutter proposal that feels impersonal. Whatever you decide on doing, take all the inspiration from here that you like, but make sure it’s unique to the two of you.
Image Credits
kasha_malasha/Shutterstock.com
Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock.com
