How to Tell Your Spouse That You Lost Your Wedding Ring (& Live to Tell the Tale)

woman yelling at fallen man

Beyond the actual notion and merit of marriage, wedding rings are the most important parts of your relationship. They are an everlasting symbol of your undying love, your connection—a symbol for all the world to see, to know that a particular person has your heart.

Your wedding rings mean a lot, and they should be protected at all costs, rarely removed from your ring finger and kept safe from damage and loss. But we all make mistakes. Maybe you flung your hand toward a trash compactor and watched your ring fly off from your finger into the abyss; maybe you were washing your hands and heard a horrible clinking slowly make its way down the drain. Whatever the case, your wedding ring can get lost, and it’s a horrible feeling when it does.

But what should you do under these circumstances? How do you break the news to your spouse and live to tell the story? Here are some trusted ways to remain transparent, loving, and considerate throughout the process.

Be Direct and Transparent

Your first inclination might be to make up a tall tale to avoid any blame: You forgot your ring at the gym and will get it tomorrow; you brought it to the jeweler to get resized. Or maybe you just sent off a vague, worrying text message saying nothing more than “I made a mistake.” While these might feel like smart ideas at the moment, they’re just going to make things worse. Never lie or mislead your spouse. It’s not the right thing to do—even if you shared unique wedding bands!

Rather, be direct and transparent with them. Call them or send them a clear text message, letting them know the following: You lost your wedding ring, you’re sincerely sorry, and you want to have a serious conversation when you’re next together to discuss the issue, along with how you can make up for it.

Show Remorse

While you want to be direct with your spouse, don’t act nonchalant about it. Wedding rings—especially ones with custom wedding bands—are valuable items, both emotionally and financially. It’s a big deal to lose one, so you shouldn't just shrug it off as if to say, “Hey, these things happen.”  

Let your partner know how bad you feel about the situation. Your earnestness will speak volumes, showing how committed you are to your marriage and making up for your own mistake(s).

couple talking over coffees

Legitimize if They’re Upset or Saddened

Your partner is right to be emotionally upset upon hearing this news. If they give you trouble over it, don’t take it personally. You made a mistake—one involving the commitment of your marriage—and they’re bound to become upset over such news.

Listen to them. Hear what they’re saying and respond accordingly. They should understand how much you value their love. Their frustration from such news is a sign of their undying commitment to you. 

Set Plans to Get a New Ring

The biggest thing you should do when talking to your partner is making plans to get you a new ring. While you could just get a new ring for you, you should consider proposing the idea of getting brand-new custom wedding bands for the two of you—if it fits within your finances. Together, you can think of the purchase and design of a new set of unique wedding bands to be a recommitment to your never-ending love.

Furthermore, such plans can lead to you holding a new wedding ceremony, too, where the two of you recommit to one another with new vows. You can both work on writing your own vows, restating your love for the other person in a brief ceremony in front of a few loved ones and friends. This will speak for a new chapter in your marriage, presenting your newly written vows and custom wedding bands to one another in a small, intimate ceremony. And, from here, you can embark on a second honeymoon, making up for the unfortunate loss that first occurred.

couple holding hands at pier

Whatever option you choose, you should pick one that is considerate of your spouse's emotions, all while making strides to make the loss up to them. No carelessness should go unacted upon. Take the necessary steps to fix the situation and show how much you truly love your spouse.